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Friday, January 9, 2009

A sad anniversary....

Well, it's been a year and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she is gone. Each time I think about it I just get a huge sinking feeling in my stomach and a knot in my throat. It honestly doesn't even seem real and I can't yet bring myself to delete her number out of my phone. I hope all of you are doing well and on the road to healing. I just added a new story to the "Share your Story" section so please let me know if you would like to add yours.

I've been trying to think of what else to say but I can't come up with much so I'll just leave you with the lyrics to April's favorite Dave Matthew's Band song.


Come and see
I swear by now
I'm playing time against my troubles
I'm coming slow but speeding
Do you wish a dance and while I'm in the front
The play on time is won
But the difficulty is coming here
I will go in this way
And find my own way out
I won't tell you to stay
But I'm coming to much more
All at once the ghosts come back
Reeling in you now
What if they came down crushing
Remember when I used to play for
All of the loneliness that nobody
Notices now I'm begging slow
I'm coming here
Only waiting I wanted to stay
I wanted to play,
I wanted to love you I'm only this far
And only tomorrow leads my way
I'm coming waltzing back and
Moving into your head
Please, I wouldn't pass this by
I wouldn't take any more than
What sort of man goes by I will bring water
Why won't you ever be glad
It melts into wonder
I came in praying for you
Why won't you run
In the rain and play
Let the tears splash all over you

April's Story

In May 2006, when April was twenty weeks pregnant, she went in for a routine ultrasound to find out the gender of her baby. The ultrasound would turn out to be life-changing in more ways than one. Happily, April found out she would be the mother of a little girl, but sadly her doctor also discovered a tumor. The doctor dismissed it as a ‘fatty deposit,’ even though April had previously had cancer. April asked her doctor for tests because it was so alarming to her, but again she was dismissed.

After the delivery of baby Emma, April began to experience major pain that continued to get worse and worse, so she finally went to the ER, begging to be tested. Unfortunately, they found that the tumor had grown immensely. April was sent to surgery for what was thought to be a benign tumor and possible ovary removal. During the surgery, doctors found the cancer everywhere in April’s pelvic region. A full hysterectomy was performed. April’s doctors tried their best to remove all the cancer, but it had metastasized. She then went on chemo to fight a long list of cancers, because her doctors were unsure what type of cancer April actually had. The tests showed that it was not ovarian cancer, but, rather, another type of cancer that had spread to her ovaries. At that point they thought it was Stage 4 cancer, which is incurable.

In January 2007, April’s doctor told her they received a pathology report from the hospital that had performed her last surgery in the spring of 2004 to remove a non-cancerous tumor. The pathology report showed that the precursor cells that were found in the last, non-cancerous tumor were the same as the cells that were found in the most recent, cancerous tumor. It was a promising hope that April could possibly have ovarian cancer with a strange cellular makeup. That took it from a stage 4 to stage 3. Although the prognosis was still serious, there was hope that April’s cancer might be wiped out.

Once it was discovered that the precursor cells were the same, the plan was to still continue on with chemo for another six months and to have April receive scans about every three months to see if there was any new growth. During the scan in August of this year, April received great news: the doctors believed that there was no new growth, only an inflammation that measured at .5 cm which they believed to be swelling from the last surgery. April’s family was ecstatic for obvious reasons, one of which was that April had made it a whole year with no return of the disease.

Unfortunately, immediately after that last scan, April began experiencing pain again. She trusted her instincts and went in and asked to be checked out even though she had just had a scan. She had an exam the following week, and they found that that small, .5 cm inflammation was, in fact, the cancer. It had really never gone away and was just being held at bay with the chemo. April got another scan in early September, and this one verified the tumor had already grown to 4-5 cm in three weeks.

At the time of this writing, April has started back on chemo, but it’s a different kind of regimen. One part of the chemo drug is called Topotecan, and there is also a bio agent drug called Avistan. The plan is for these drugs to keep the size of the tumor down, or wipe it away all together. There are also tiny spots all throughout her pelvic region now, along with the tumor.

The plan is to keep April on a chemotherapy regimen for as long as is tolerable. If the chemo treatment is not successful or sustainable, there will then be other options. April’s doctors’ prognosis is for a one-year survival rate, with a one- to two-percent chance of the cancer going into complete remission. Even with that news we are obviously holding out for a miracle and hoping that April will be healed.

Isaiah 40:31
"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength;they shall mount up with wings as EAGLES they shall run, and not be weary;and they shall walk, and not faint"